“A great man is always willing to be little”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
I decided to start this eulogy with a quote because Nico loved quotes (not necessarily the quote above though). He was always writing down bits and pieces he was reading in little notebooks that he kept with him wherever he went. And often those scribbles would end up as citations in one of his numerous books (the last one was published just a few months ago). I often teased him about these citations. “Where is your opinion in all this?”, I would ask him. But this was really unfair of me, because who Nico was would always shine very clearly through in all of his works. And if I would have to summarize this essence it would be: be kind to others, especially children.
I am writing these words to a man who is no more. In a way they are meaningless because he will not read them, will not reflect on them, will not get back to me on them. That is what I will miss most: the opportunity for conversations with him, in spoken but maybe even more in written form. This was something we both enjoyed, sharing our thoughts with each other. It was meaningful to -I like to think- both of us. Meaningful not always in a philosophical way, but also just as banter, putting the gravities we faced in life in perspective. And now… a void, that is what is left.
Many people from around the globe will remember Nico dearly. Already from the tributes that are pouring in at ICDI one can see how much he meant to so many. I am sure he would have felt embarrassed or at least uncomfortable by all this love and adoration. Nico was an ambitious man, even more so when he was younger, but life taught him to be humble. Maybe too much so: he always underrated his own contributions whilst exaggerating those of others. In my case, the compliments he showered on to me often made me feel embarrassed (or at least uncomfortable). But through the years we both got used to this and it became something we could laugh about. From what started out as a working relationship a friendship emerged. And that is how I will remember him most: as my friend.
Not to diminish all the incredible things he did for children and their caregivers: the legacy he left with ICDI and with his books, articles, speeches, tools and so forth is immense. The positive influence he has had on the lives of others in almost every corner of the world is truly amazing. Beautiful. Second to none. There, I have said it: Nico was a great man! But I also want to leave it at that, out of respect for this, the humblest of men. To me he was much more than all he accomplished, to me he was a friend. That is something I really would like to tell him. That I would like him to hear. But I can’t anymore. That makes this eulogy, like any eulogy I guess, meaningless. Nico probably would have appreciated that irony. At least I like to think he would have.
My friend is dead. There is no comfort, just sadness. But to honour him I will celebrate his memory, his life. One that was filled with tragedy, but also a beautiful life. It was a pleasure and a privilege for me to be able to take part in it. Farewell Nico, love Always.
Mathijs Euwema, former Director ICDI and current Chair of the Board
